Addiction In The Suburbs

I didn’t wake up one day and say to myself: “You know what? Today would be a good day to abandon my children and become a heroin addict. It looks like it would be super fun to destroy my entire life, end up homeless multiple times, and even go to prison and be marked as a ✨Felon✨ for the rest of my fucking life.” — That doesn’t fucking happen. Ever. The root of addiction is TRAUMA, at least for me. That, and my mental health was untreated and undiagnosed fully. Oh, and I was unmedicated and suffering from Postpartum Depression on top of my already existing Depression & Anxiety issues. Basically — I was a fucking mess. And I wasn’t being helped in anyway shape or form from family, friends — in fact, the exact opposite was happening. I was having severe Depressive episodes and literally talking about wanting to kill myself. Instead of family stepping up and saying “This kid needs some help, let’s help her..” (because I was a kid, at barely 19, with 3 kids..) they decided to talk shit about me, my situation, and poke fun of how things had turned out for me in life. When I would try to explain to them the way I was feeling — I was told to “suck it up” and “get over it”. Yeah, it was super helpful. I don’t know if someone has ever said that stuff to YOU before.. but it doesn’t work. It doesn’t do anything expect make the situation even worse to be honest. Because you start thinking even shittier things about yourself, such as “Why am I such a fucking pussy!? Why can’t I just get over this!? What’s wrong with me?!” … It’s destructive and it’s really disappointing that people even think of talking to someone like this that’s struggling. We deserve better than this.. *I* deserved better than this.

Almost everyone you meet knows an Addict.. whether it’s their Mom or Dad.. Sister or Brother.. maybe an Aunt or Cousin.. a Friend.. or even, Themselves. Addiction, specifically Heroin/Fentanyl/Opiates, is killing everyone. It’s an epidemic, as everyone knows, and honestly a bigger issue than COVID at the end of the day. More people die from Overdoses VS Covid. And the icing on the cake? Overdoses have skyrocketed during the pandemic.

It’s the same old debate that “An Addict chose to be an Addict!” that’s killing us and our loved ones. I mean it’s like the age old question, which came first.. the chicken or the egg? At the end of the day, who really gives a fuck, when in the end — the chicken and egg both get eaten and die. Same thing goes for the Addict. We are dying while people are trying to place blame on other things, when yes, that is important in theory, but it’s not accomplishing anything and just hindering any sort of real resolution.

When I said that Addiction is a response to Trauma — I meant that when someone goes through a traumatic situation (or even a traumatic upbringing for example) they are much more susceptible to becoming Addicted.. and not just to drugs. You can become Addicted to anything really — people, shopping, gambling, relationships, sex, money, caffeine, nicotine, and yes — drugs and alcohol is the most common vice. Anything that disrupts your life in a negative way, can be harmful.. not just substances, like I stated above. I also want to mention — just for the record — that Addiction is all about your environmental factors, (as well as genetics) that shape us into who we become. And for some, that’s an Addict. 🤷‍♀️

I want to touch on the subject of MAT aka Medication Assisted Treatment, such as Suboxone or Methadone, and I’ll talk about it more in a separate post since this is long as is. I know a lot of people have the viewpoint of Suboxone/Methadone being “just a replacement drug”, and while in theory, I suppose it is.. but it’s also so much more than just that. It’s saving lives and allowing people to stay Sober, and get their lives back. I personally am on Methadone.. and if it weren’t for it, I wouldn’t be able to maintain my Sobriety. I tried numerous times to just “stop” using and “cold turkey it”, and it never worked. Maybe for the first few days.. but no more than a week, and I’d always go back to using. MAT replaces the part in our brain where — from using for so long — we became reliant on it to function. When we stop using Opiates, the receptors in our brain go into a state of shock — which is what Withdrawal essentially is. It’s both mental and physical. Having something like MAT (which replaces the receptors with a synthetic opiate) allows the Withdrawals to subside — thus granting us the ability to really manage our Addiction, and to start gaining our lives back. It’s definitely not an overnight process.. but it is absolutely doable — when you have the proper support and will power. I’m living proof of this. 🖤